I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
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