ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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