One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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