i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Randomize
