I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
