she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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