I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Randomize
