Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
