It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
there was a trapeze. enough said
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
