After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
