Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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