She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
