Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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