i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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