Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
