So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
