His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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