i just google imaged poop.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I deserve this hangover.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
