he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
as a side note pls kill me
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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