I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
