I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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