You made me cry and you don't even care
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
