what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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