How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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