somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
