No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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