I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
