Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I have tasted many bathrooms
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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