He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
