I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
