Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
