he wants to bone in the snuggie
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
