how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
