i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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