The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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