wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
