and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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