i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
