is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
did i walk over a car last night?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
