I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
