don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
