Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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