I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize