there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
