I want to stick my p in your. b.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
