can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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