i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize
