I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
