nut hugger
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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