who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
