im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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