wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize