i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
no you cant smoke seaweed
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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