sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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