dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
