end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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