one might say we're banned from that church
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
