I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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