i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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