Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Randomize
